


Character Study

by ShadeOps21, SpitfireUSN



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games), Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: 30 character questions, Character Study, Gen, It's feelsy, Jay's an idiot, Self-Sacrifice, Shade belongs to ShadeOps21, Shade calls him out, answered for Jay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-03-15 11:12:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13612155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeOps21/pseuds/ShadeOps21, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpitfireUSN/pseuds/SpitfireUSN
Summary: A place for all of my character studies (for my OCs specifically). Anything posted here is complete and stands alone. Will be updated every so often with studies. Currently the only character with studies is Jay lol





	1. 30 Qs

**1: What’s your OC’s biggest insecurity and how would they react if someone pointed it out to them?** ****  
  


Jay has no delusions about himself, he knows what he is and isn’t good at. He is good at helping people, he is not good at fighting. He has few insecurities, but among them is his self doubt. He lacks confidence in himself and is afraid of not being good enough to save someone. If someone were to jab at this insecurity, to tell him that he  _ isn’t  _ good enough, Jay would defend his skills and knowledge, and let them know that the hardest lesson a medic ever learns is that they can’t save everyone. 

  


**2: If your OC wants to buy a firearm, what it might be for?** ****  
  


Jay is military and for all that he would rather not hurt anyone, he will defend himself and his team. If he’s buying a weapon it’s most likely for work.

  


**3: Does your OC behave differently around different people, if so with whom and how?** ****  
  


It depends on the person. For example, Derrick, Jay hates the man with a passion and will give him nothing but snark and disrespect. Then there’s people like Truck, Eilidh, and War, his best friends. He leans on them, sometimes literally (physical closeness is a comfort for an anxious or sad Jay). He’ll give them all he can, talk about things he won’t talk about or deflects with others. To his ‘bosses’, people like Captain MacTavish and even Lara, Jay holds rank in high regard and will not forget his place around the superiors he respects. It’s hard for his superiors to get him to relax around them, he’ll try to be all business all the time when it comes to them. 

  


**4: Would your OC want to involve themselves in humanitarian work ? If yes, then for what? If not, then why not?** ****  
  


Jay is very involved in humanitarian work and will often volunteer at refugee hospitals and medical camps, providing his expertise where he can. In civilian life (on leave) he will busy himself volunteering at hospitals, helping out wherever they need him. 

  


**5: How would your OC generally react to someone being verbally abusive towards them for no apparent reason?** ****  
  


It would mostly depend on what they were saying and doing. For the most part he either wouldn’t really notice, or wouldn’t really care. Of course, if he did notice, he would cut ties with them whether he cared or not, abuse is not something he will take lightly, whether it bothers him or not. He might try to get to the bottom of the situation, ask why and try to resolve any issues, but most likely the end result will remain the same. 

  


**6: Does your OC have a realistic image of their own intelligence?** ****  
  


As stated above Jay has no delusions about himself. He knows he’s incredibly intelligent, he has to be in his line of work. However there is the ever persistent thought in the back of his mind telling him that he’s not as good as he thinks (anxiety is a bitch like that). 

  


**7: Does your OC have any irrational phobias?** ****  
  


Nothing really irrational. He’s afraid of love, but he’s got his reasons, however little sense they make. He’s moreso afraid of losing the people he loves than of loving. He’s just convinced that he’ll lose the people he cares about, which makes him afraid to care in that way. However he is afraid of being physically alone and isn’t really sure why. 

  


**8: How is/was your OC’s relationship with their parents?** ****  
  


Jay loved his parents and his parents loved him. They had a good relationship, his parents were both very supportive of him. 

  


**9: Does your OC feel a pressure to achieve or are they content and calm with doing what they can at the moment?** ****  
  


Jay is constantly afraid of not being good enough. He’s always pressing to be better, to learn more, to get stronger, and do more. Sometimes are worse than others and he occasionally pushes himself to the brink. In the moment of tending to someone, depending on the severity of the wounds, he ranges from cool and calm to barely holding it together. But he always keeps himself together, because he knows if he doesn’t in that moment he could lose them. 

  


**10: Does your OC guard their emotions by being tough? If not how would they?** ****  
  


Jay is a very honest person. Many people have described him as wearing his heart on his sleeve. He will not hide important parts of himself, but he is extremely reluctant to discuss his emotional well-being. 

  


**11: How would your OC react to hearing they’re adopted?** ****  
  


He would be indifferent towards the information. Jay would be surprised his parents had never told him, but other than that he wouldn’t care, to him it’s the same either way. 

  


**12: What is one of the most primary things your OC feels that is missing from their life?** ****  
  


Rhys, for one thing. Now that he’s gone there’s a distinct lack of romantic love and Jay feels it hard. However he’s not likely to do anything about it, he’s too afraid to try at the moment, but he’s getting there. 

  


**13: What kind of situations does your OC avoid the most?** ****  
  


Situations where he has to talk to a psychiatrist. He knows his mental health is shit and he’s absolutely terrified of being labeled unfit for duty because of it. I’ve talked about him being afraid of things a lot through this, but losing his job, being discharged from the military, is the one thing that truly  _ terrifies  _ him. If the threat is there, he’ll do anything to keep it from happening. 

  


**14: If your OC gets into a fight with their best friend, would they wait for their friend to make up with them, or would they try to make up with their friend?** ****  
  


See  [ this ](http://cordemente.tumblr.com/post/138771413650/hey-war-can-can-we-talk) thread for what happens when Jay’s an idiot and ruins a relationship. It’s a long story there but he lashed out in his anger and hurt her. He wanted to apologize but he didn’t think War would give him the chance, thought she’d just avoid him. It took him getting beaten half to death for them to make up over that. Anyway. Jay usually apologizes very quickly, he hates getting people angry with him, especially if they’re friends. That one just really tore him up because he’d hurt her. 

  


**15: Does your OC consider themselves a good person?** ****  
  


No delusions. Jay knows there’s good and bad in what he does. He knows he’s killed people and he knows he’s done bad things. But he tries very hard to be a good person, tries to be that force of good in someone’s life that makes them think that maybe everything will be okay. Jay tries so hard to be better and do better.

  


**16: Is your OC good at giving others validation of their feelings and making them feel understood?** ****  
  


He tries to. Success varies I think, but in threads with Eilidh where she’s gone to him for advice he’s done well at keeping it level and understanding to his best ability. He tries to see things from their perspective and understand  _ why  _ they feel the way they do. 

  


**17: Does your OC suffer from any mental health issues?** ****  
  


Depression, anxiety, and PTSD, all undiagnosed as he refuses professional help. 

  


**18: What kind of intrapersonal values does your OC have? (values about their self, what makes them feel like a valid person)** ****  
  


Jay holds himself to his morals, defending those who can’t defend themselves, regardless of uniform, belief, or nationality. He values loyalty, honesty, and kindness. His ability to do good and be good drives him to do better and be better. 

  


**19: What boosts your OC’s confidence the most?** ****  
  


Jay doesn’t have a lot of confidence, but something that always gives him that prideful ‘I  _ can  _ do it’ feeling is the caduceus patch on his Kevlar vest and kit. The caduceus holds a lot of symbolic value to him and he sees his own morals reflected in it. 

  


**20: Does your OC hurt others often unintentionally? If yes, how?** ****  
  


Jay would be devastated if he found out he’d unintentionally hurt someone. He really tears himself up about it. He’s supposed to heal, not hurt.

  


**21: Does your OC hurt others often intentionally? If yes, how?** ****  
  


Jay does not like to hurt people, but if he’s shot at he’ll shoot back. He understands his value to his team as a medic and will try to stay alive, which means defending himself and hurting those who try to hurt him or his teammates. On that note, Jay is absolutely vicious when it comes to defending his team. You try to hurt his people while they’re down and he will come for you with a vengeance. 

  


**22: How does your OC usually show affection? Are they openly romantic or more restricted with their affectionate emotions?** ****  
  


Jay is very physically affectionate, touch is the best way to calm him down and get through to him. Being close. He won’t initiate anything romantic, but he might sit a little closer so his shoulders brush against theirs or lean against them or something, especially if he’s feeling anxious or down. 

  


**23: Does your OC tend to hide something about their personality/essence when meeting new people? If yes, what?** ****  
  


Jay doesn’t hide parts of who he is. He gets it all out in the open so that if they don’t like something about him they can get it over with rather than becoming friends only for them to learn about it later and turn on him. 

  


**24: How would your OC react if they got humiliated by someone in a group of people?** ****  
  


Well this has never happened but very awkwardly, I imagine.

  


**25: How would your OC process the grief caused by the death of a loved one?**

  


Uh… well… It happened, and he didn’t process it well at all. In fact I’m not sure he even actually processed it. He’s still kinda stuck there. Yeah he’s not in great shape after losing Rhys. 

  


**26: What is the most intense thing your OC has been battling with?** ****  
  


His grief and depression over losing his parents and then Rhys. 

  


**27: Does your OC practise any kind of escapism? If yes, what kind?** ****  
  


Jay tends to get a bit lost in his work. He’ll often lose track of time while working and forget to eat until he’s absolutely starving. Or until it’s late at night and he ends up falling asleep on his desk. 

  


**28: How would your OC react if a bully stole their lunch money in high school?** ****  
  


Jay’s father was a Marine, as non-confrontational as Jay is, losing wasn’t an option. He’d figure out a way to get it back. Nowadays though he’d just walk away, let them keep it and live with the consequences. 

  


**29: How does your OC behave on the face of a conflict?** ****  
  


Jay gets quiet during battle, retreats into his head a little. Just enough that he’s calm and able and alert watching over his team. In the event of getting into a hand-to-hand fight, he’ll probably lose, but he’ll fight hard and will not stay down. He keeps getting up no matter how many times you throw him down. 

  


**30: What makes your OC defensive quickest?**

  


Jay is mostly content to let people think what they think, he doesn’t really care what they think of him, he  _ knows _ himself well enough to know whether they’re right or wrong. However. If you go after his friends. Or worse if you physically attack someone who can’t defend themselves. You better be ready, because an angry Jay is a force to be reckoned with. 


	2. Character Interaction - Shade (AoN verse)

_ Set between All or Nothing chapters 18 (D.I.V.O.R.C.E) AND 19 (Emergency Redirect). _

Jay sat at the front desk, typing his report from the last physical he’d done. Movement caught his eye, but he didn’t look up to acknowledge the Hotel team’s FNG. There was a report that needed doing and plenty of other medical staff to take care of him.

The newcomer leant against the counter with a small smirk, “G’day Jay-jay, what’s new?”

“Not much… Mount Everest of paperwork, ‘s about it,” Jay shrugged, he only paused a moment to look at the operator, “What is it?”

“Just here to see Milne, got another check up on my war wounds from Mexico, y’know? She was a little concerned about muscle scar tissue...” Shade looked to either side of him, and leant in conspiratorially, “I think it’s just an excuse for the doc to get her hands on me, heh…” 

Jay rolled his eyes, “Uh-huh… Well given Hotel’s reputation it probably will not be the last. Hopefully. But probably not.” He looked back at his screen and made a few more notes before closing the file and submitting it.

“Heh, yeah, knowing our luck, that’s probably true. I’m sure you hear enough of it from bloody Chemmy, right?” Shade said with a chuckle, shifting his weight on the bench.

“Him and personal experience,” Jay muttered, “Milne’s waiting for you,” he pointed behind him, “Third door.”

Shade frowned a little, put off by how un-engaged Jay was with his little banter, but shrugged it off internally as he started his way down the hall. “Cheers Jay-Jay. If anyone is looking for me, I’m on a date with the doc… if it’s Dash, say that I’m seeing a man about a dog…”

Jay rolled his eyes once more, he’d seen the man was incredibly…  _ social,  _ but all the chat, put him off. It distracted him from things that needed doing and there were a  _ shit ton  _ of things that needed doing. Like he’d said, Mount Everest of paperwork. And he was apparently the only one free enough to climb it. Not that he considered being stuck behind a desk very ‘free’.

* * *

Shade grimaced as he wiped off the goopy ultrasound fluid from the back of his thigh, pausing a little to study the small nine millimeter circular scar that was underneath. A souvenir from his brief time in Mexico, he supposed. Just another addition to the many he’d sustained in his career.

“So, how’s it lookin’ Doc?” He asked, internally yelling ‘Oh baby a triple’ after throwing the balled-up paper towel into the bin successfully.

“All in all, nothing to be concerned about. Your little run around the Monaco coastline hasn’t done anything to stress that muscle group further, and whatever scarring that is there will fade more with time. Just be a little more mindful when exercising that particular region,” Second Lieutenant Milne said as she peeled off her gloves, “lest we be seeing you back here.”

“Copy that,” Shade nodded in understanding, picking up his pants and re-dressing himself, “Hey, I gotta ask you… what’s the deal with Jay-Jay out front? Like, I know you medics can be a cold lot, but he’s exceptionally frosty. Makes damn Chemo look like a bonfire.”

“Jay? He used to be a combat doc ‘till he got sidelined. He’s always been a little… distant,” She answered simply, “Why do you ask?”

Shade sat in thought for a few moments before answering, “Well, there’s being distant, and there’s being a right prick. Like, take our return from across the border, right? He gave me this hostile vibe when he was looking over Dash and I, me especially…” He shook his head, “I mean, I can understand resentment for being benched and not seeing any action, but I don’t think this is just simple resentment… what did he do to get benched, if you don’t mind me askin’?”

Milne bit her lip lightly and crossed her arms, “Jay doesn’t  _ resent  _ anyone, not that I know of. And he’s been benched a while besides that, happened about a year before they brought you in. Took some hits, muscle and nerve damage, has a bit of a limp now but honestly it’s nothing that would’ve benched him. I think it was when Shepherd had a psych rundown on him.”

Shade let out a low whistle and winced slightly, “He was facing an ‘eight’?” He asked softly, referring to the old ‘Section Eight’ discharge, generally used for mentally unfit personnel.

She nodded, “Shrink got them to keep him enlisted, only barred from combat. Dunno what was wrong with him, but when he found out he was about to be handed a pink slip he just kinda…” she shrugged and shook her head, “Didn’t see him for a week… think he shut down a little there.”

He shook his head, “I wouldn’t blame him… but that probably didn’t help his case either. A little surprised that it wasn’t the final ‘nail in the coffin’, y’know?”

“Yeah, we all were, to be honest I had been starting to think they’d sent him home already,” Milne agreed, “Guess whatever shrink he talked to worked some kind of magic or something? I dunno, but he’s here, he’s skilled, and he doesn’t seem to get a lot of sleep, but that’s beside the point… I think…”

Shade shrugged and collected his phone from a nearby bench, then started for the door. “Well, as tough of a prick he is, I’ll eventually get to him. Even if it kills me,” he said as he pulled it open, “bonus points if he does, because then I’ll get the kiss of life from you.” Shade said, popping his eyebrows in an over-the-top fashion. Milne rolled her eyes.

“From what I’ve heard, I’d’ve thought you’d be preferring a certain Texan trooper over a mere medic like me…” She shot back, folding her arms over her chest.

“... I have no idea what you’re talking about…” Shade said after a few moments of silence, internally wondering who’s body he’d now have to dispose of. The sloppy denial was easily seen through by the medical officer, who just raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, right… now get going, we’ve both got more important stuff to get to.”

* * *

Jay was just sitting back down after a coffee run, taking a sip from the mug before setting it aside to see what was next on his docket when Shade passed by his desk again. His eyes caught Shade as he walked by and he felt..  _ something _ , in his stomach or somewhere. Something told him… he wasn’t sure what, but it locked his eyes on to the Australian operator.

Instead of walking straight out the doors, Shade rounded to the front of the desk and stopped in front of Jay. “Y’know, you could try not being a wanker for once.”

Jay blinked a moment, of all things, of all scenarios running through his head,  _ that  _ had not been one of them, “I’m… sorry? Did I do something? I’m confused...”

Shade sighed, “Look, I know a fellow gunfighter when I see him… them,” he corrected, remembering that not  _ all _ of his team were guys, “and I can tell you were one. And I get that you’re still salty over being stuck on the bench and shit, but you gotta lighten the fuck up mate.”

Jay sighed, “I wasn’t a ‘gunfighter’, I was a combat medic, emphasis on  _ was _ . Now I’m not. Haven’t been for a year now.”

“And still will be with that bloody attitude, y’know,” Shade pointed out, aiming an index finger at him, “and don’t give me that ‘combat medic’ bullshit. Chemo’s one and he can still hit a mozzie’s ass at three hundred meters while hanging upside down.”

He shook his head “ _ Still would be  _ if not for a nosy ass shrink,” Jay sat back with a frown, shoulders tense, “And I’m not Chemo. I’m me. And I came back from ops without having fired a single round. Combat medic. Not a gunfighter.”

“To-may-to, to-mah-to,” Shade said with a smirk, “The only difference between you and me is that my pack’s full of bullets and bombs, yours is blood and band-aids.” He sighed and stood upright, “What I’m saying is that if you want to get out there and do what you do best, you gotta fight for it. Don’t let some pansy-ass armchair general or some shrink who hasn’t seen down the barrel of some asshole’s AK dictate how you live your bloody life.” He pushed away from the counter and made his way for the door. “I see wasted potential behind that desk mate… but hey, your life, your path to walk.”

“You don’t think I did everything I could to get back out there?” he asked, voice dejected, Jay shook his head, “I tried, and I got a pink slip shoved in my face, at least here I can still do  _ something _ .”

Shade stood there, door halfway open and one foot outside. “I’ll ask you something my old squad leader back in the Commandos asked me: you know what they say about rules, Jay?”

“No one ever got famous following them?” Jay shrugged and shook his head, “I tried everything… didn’t matter to them, they were just gonna toss me away like a broken tool.”

Shade rolled his eyes, “Rules are made to be broken, mate. If I were you, go brush the dust off of your armour, oil up your weapons… I’ll be in touch.” With that, he stepped outside and left the medic to ponder his words.

Jay leaned back in his chair with a sigh, rubbing his eyes with both hands. What he wouldn’t give to get back out there, be with his team again, next to them, keeping them safe. But if the brass found out… He’d be done for sure then, sent ‘home’. Jay scoffed at the idea, his home was where the Army sent him. Of course, the brass wouldn’t see that, they didn’t care to see it. The shrink had. He was lucky to still be enlisted, he couldn’t risk it… could he?


	3. Character Interaction (AE verse)

_ This takes place after the events Another End chapter 17 (Steady). _

 

Jay sighed as he let his head rest on the pillow, his arms underneath providing a little extra support. The bay was pretty quiet, with him being the only ‘patient’ there at the time. The air conditioning felt extra cool on his exposed back, the skin a little extra tender after being re-dressed with fresh bandages. The medical officer looking after his treatment had said that his skin was healing slowly, and that the signs of infection were fading.

His thoughts were stolen as the doors to the bay swung open, a pair of medics wheeling in a stretcher bearing a member of one of the Task Force’s other teams, one he didn’t recognise. The medics parked this newcomer beside him, said a few parting words and left him to his devices. Now unobscured, Jay could see the soldier’s left sleeve of his uniform had been cut away, leaving his arm and shoulder exposed, save for the myriad of tape covering the shoulder itself. He had to stop himself from moving to his assistance, moving would not be wise. Jay sighed and buried his face in the pillow for a moment, frustrated with his immobility.

“You ‘right mate?” The soldier spoke up, his head turned and looking at Jay.

Jay looked at him boredly, “Been better…” He watched as the soldier’s eyes flicked up and down his back before refocusing on Jay himself.

“... no shit Sherlock,” the soldier said with a quirked eyebrow, “so you’re that bastard that’s the talk of the Task Force right now?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve been stuck here the past few days wishing I could  _ move _ ,” Jay responded, “What talk?”

“I heard from my old mate Rook who heard from Toad that their team’s medic turned himself into a sacrificial lamb on their latest op, that’s the talk,” he rolled his eyes, subconsciously going to cross his arms over his chest before stopping with a pained wince from his injury and the tightness of the tape around his joint, “most of the blokes are going on about how much of a legend you are for taking one for the team the way you did.”

Jay snorted a chuckle and shook his head, “Sacrificial lamb? Really?” 

“Would you’d have preferred ‘premium grade mince’? I figured that might be a little too soon, given by the sheer size of that patch on your back.” 

Jay winced at the joke, “Fair point I suppose.”

The soldier rolled his eyes, then gave Jay a pointed look, “Nah, the fair point is that I think you’re a fucking wanker, that’s what.”

Jay raised an eyebrow, “Why am I a wanker?”

“To quote some old but wise prick from way back when, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. Goes the same way with pain and suffering, mate. I’d ask if the Doc’s managed to fix up the many ‘new ones’ that you’ve been torn by your team, but that’s a little too personal for my liking,” he said with a small chuckle before frowning. “I get that you’re a medic, and you don’t like seeing others hurt, but say they had killed you early in your imprisonment. What next? Who’d be alive to patch the others up once the bastards set their sights on them? They sure as hell wouldn’t, otherwise they’d not have killed you.”

Jay groaned and pressed his face into the pillow again, “Not this again....” He mumbled into it before he lifted his face, “A. I did what I had to do, I trusted the rest of the team to be able to get to us in time for that to not be a problem. B. There wasn’t much patching up I could do with no supplies, they were in no hurry to give me my kit to tend to Ozone and Scarecrow. All I could do was trust my team and hold out until they got there, in the meantime, I could save the others some pain. So I did.”

“And while you’re being all magnanimous and shit, the rest of your team is sitting in a cell, fearing for your life, thinking ‘it should be me in there’, because you know damn well that all of them would trade places with you in less than a fucking heartbeat,” the soldier spat out, “because if there’s one bloody thing I know from personal fucking experience, is that you don’t leave your brothers behind, and you don’t let them hang out to fucking dry. Did you even  _ think _ and consider that maybe  _ they wanted _ to share the pain? Do something to make sure you didn’t suffer any longer?” He was starting to get louder, his words beginning to echo through the bay, “Or are you so fucking self-centred to think that… that… well, I don’t fucking know. If you ask me, you’re a fucking moron.”

Jay scowled at him and shifted, wincing and grimacing as his back pulled, he settled back into his position, “They have people to go home to. I don’t. I was the expendable one and I wasn’t gonna sit and do nothing and be  _ useless  _ and  _ fuck _ I don’t…” he sighed and shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. It happened. It’s over. I’m healing, the others are okay. That’s all that matters.”

“And now look. Because of all of this, you  _ are  _ useless, you  _ can’t do anything _ , and your team will either fill your slot temporarily or be stood down until you’re fit again. And that’s not considering the fact that there was jack shit stopping those assholes from executing everyone but you, y’know,” the soldier said after a few moments silence. “What if they figured out that your act of attempted self-sacrifice was just for that? Could you live with yourself knowing that your actions lead to their deaths?”

“No…” Jay sighed, “I wouldn’t. I’d fuckin… I don’t know… but it wouldn’t be pretty. But if they had, they’d have lost their leverage, and they knew it. Threatened Scarecrow, they caught on at the end.”

“Exactly… and you don’t know how much longer it would have taken for the rest of us to find you lot…” he said softly, “And they wouldn’t have been able to live with themselves knowing that you gave yourself up like that. Sure, they have families and shit to go home to… but they’d have also lost a brother.”

Jay scoffed a chuckle and shook his head, “They hardly know me. I wouldn’t think I’d be considered a brother.”

“Yet they’d willingly take the punishment if it meant sparing you… I don’t know mate, but that’s some fucking brothers-in-arms shit right there…” The doors opened and a medic walked in, a chart in his hands.

“Okay, Sergeant Williams, due to your dislocation, we’ll be keeping you here for observation for the night, just to make sure there’s no further damage to the joint and surrounding nerves. One of the nurses will be in to wheel you to a ward soon.”

The soldier, Williams, nodded, “Thanks Doc.” He turned to look at Jay. “Give your team some credit, open the fuck up, and don’t be such an isolated and pessimistic prick. You’ll live longer that way.”


	4. Trolley Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written as a quick (spent *maybe* an hour on this) example of being the focus of the scene but still being more of a quiet character not doing much in the scene.

Jay sat quietly on the little padded bench against the window in the rec room. The conversation of the room buzzing in the back of his head as he watched outside, watched the wind stir up leaves and shook trees, watched a pair birds flit about. He was paying attention to the conversation, but didn’t have much to add to it, so he sat comfortably and listened to his friends chat. 

“Okay, so that old train riddle, right? One person on one track, fifty on the other, who do you save?” Toad asked with his typical easy smile.

Archer rolled his eyes at his spotter, “It’s not like it’s that hard to derail the train and save all of them.”

“Yeah but for the sake of the question, you can’t.”

Archer sighed and shook his head. Ozone piped up next, “Well it’s easy. I mean the fee for the many right? Lose one person or lose fifty.”

Jay could agree with that logic, but really it depended more to him on  _ who  _ the person was. Jay wasn’t one to cast judgement on the helpless, but in the situation? It felt like the only option. Both options sucked, either way, someone died. And Jay, ever the medic and ever caring about people he didn’t even know, wanted to avoid  _ anyone  _ dying. Because who knew, maybe saving an ‘evil’ person might make them realize what they’ve done, or that there  _ is  _ kindness in the world. Jay tuned the conversation out as it delved into a statistics debate. Those always annoyed him. Who cares about statistics, in the moment, right then and there? Statistics didn’t matter. Life mattered. Always be kind, his mother had told him, because you never know when you might be the only one. 

“Jay, what do you think?”

Jay lifted his head at the sudden attention, “Huh? Oh… I’d let the people cast their own judgment.” Jay sighed at the confused looks and turned to face them more squarely, “Say you have time to question them, and the fifty people are mass murderers who won’t change their ways if they live, and the one person is  _ this close  _ to a cure for cancer. What then? Saving the fifty people means hundreds more die. Saving the one person means millions live.”

“And if you don’t have time to figure all that out?”

“Save them all.”

“You can’t. There’s no way!”

“There’s always a way!” Jay argued, “That’s what we do isn’t it? Find a way?  _ There is always a way.” _


	5. (R6) Psychological Profile - Jason “Jay” Miller

Miller is a very compassionate and caring person, though he may take a few interactions to warm up to people. However I noticed that he is considerably colder towards people prying into his mental health than people who do not. He’s closely guarding something and I can only guess what based on my observations. Miller, while clearly caring deeply for his teammates, seems to hold any real emotional attachment at arm's length. 

He has shown an incredible amount of trust in people he doesn’t know, and seems willing to give almost anyone the benefit of the doubt, going so far as to talk down a terrorist holding him at gunpoint. He is incredibly loyal and honest. However he tends to disregard his own personal safety in favor of the safety of his teammates, any civilian, or anyone who cannot defend themselves. 

While Miller is hesitant at best to speak I have been able to determine that he is plagued by chronic nightmares that leave him lacking in sleep. Although he only seems to show physical symptoms to the sleep deprivation, and almost always manages to cover said symptoms with makeup. As far as I can tell, only GIGN operator Julien “Rook” Nizan and infamous insomniac of the GEO Ryad “Jackal” Ramírez Al-Hassar are aware of Miller’s lack of sleep. Neither operator seems overly concerned and have expressed that they do not believe the nightmares affect him in any major way. Nizan did, however, express a concern of Miller having depression or depressive episodes, but vouched for him, saying that whatever it was, it  _ never  _ affected him in the field and never would. 

I determined in my observations that Nizan is most likely correct about the depression. I have not been able to come to a clear diagnosis, but I believe the depressive symptoms, nightmares, and hesitation at emotional attachment may all be linked, possibly to one event. 


	6. 100 Character Questions - Jay

**_PERSONALITY PROFILE_ **

  1. **People don't behave the same way all the time. In fact, they generally have a mask for every social group -- friends, family, business. Sometimes they have a different mask for different groups of friends. How does your character act around different people? How does their personality shift and change?**



_ Jay generally keeps himself on the sidelines for just about everything, he’s so afraid of getting attached that he tries to avoid interacting at all. But in his work setting, as a medic and soldier, he tries to be all business around the superiors he respects. It’s difficult for people he views as his ‘boss’ to get him to relax around them. As a mid-ranking medic, he can and will take charge of a situation, though. _

  1. **Your character has been brought to a party and promptly ditched. They don't have a ride back home. How does this work? How comfortable are they around all of these strangers? Do they interact?**



_ Jay doesn’t like being alone. Crowds of strangers don’t stress him out, but he is a bit of a ‘wallflower’. He won’t initiate most interactions, and when he goes home, he’ll either walk or call a cab. _

  1. **It's kind of awkward - what subjects are likely to make your character hesitate, flush, stumble on their words, etc.?**



_ Mostly ~intimate~ kind of things. Seeing someone else naked? Whatever it's the human body he sees it all goddamn day. But anything intimate? Red as a ripe tomato _

  1. **Is your character more dominant or submissive to the people around them? Do they tend to follow others' orders and wait for people to give them instruction in life, or do they charge ahead and make decisions on their own?**



_ It depends on the setting. Jay is generally more of a follower, but he can and will take charge of any medical crisis, assuming he can i.e. he's not outranked by someone he respects that can do the job _

  1. **What happens when your character doesn't get what they want?**



_ Jay wants very little. He wants his teammates to trust and respect them. He wants to keep his job. He doesn’t really care for much else. If his teammates don’t trust or respect him, he will go out of his way to  _ earn  _ their trust and respect. _

  1. **What's the character's self-esteem like?**
  2. **Does it change over the course of the story?**



_ Jay has no delusions about himself. He knows he’s strong, skilled, and intelligent, but he is humble about it. However he often feels like it’s not enough and never will be. He constantly pushes to do and learn more, be more.  _

  1. **What's one flaw about themselves that they hate the most and wish they could change?**



_ He wishes he weren’t so scared of attachment. He’s tired of being scared.  _

  1. **How does their personality shift when someone gets to know them well?**



_ He'll be more open to discussing things that he won't with someone else, a stranger asks to see his sketchbook and he'll hesitate, but a friend asks and he just shows them but still hesitates at the drawings of the monsters _

  1. **Do they prefer time alone, or with other people?**



_ As I said earlier, Jay doesn’t like being alone, it makes him nervous. He spends most of his off-time sitting in the rec room by himself while people go about their days around him. _

  1. **Is it easy for this character to tell someone "no" when they don't want to do something?**



_ It depends on what he’s being asked to do. There’s very little he won’t do and very strict lines he won’t ever cross. Jay holds himself to a moral code of protecting people who can’t protect themselves and  _ never  _ causing harm to those who don’t deserve it. If what he’s being asked to do puts people in unnessaccary danger, he will put his foot down and refuse. If he’s being asked to help with a menial chore, he’ll shrug and help out if he has time, but he is generally caught up with his own work and will politely decline if he can’t spare the moment. _

  1. **If this character were to describe their own personality, how would they do it?**



_ Jay isn’t fond of trying to describe his own personality, he feels like he’s being presumptuous saying that he’s kind, loyal, and fair, and would likely recommend you asked someone else their opinion, as they would know better how to answer. _

  1. **Is this character aware of their flaws?**



_ Yes. Jay is under no illusion that some people will use him and manipulate him. Yet he still continues to be kind and trust in others, even and especially when it doesn’t benefit him. He knows he shouldn’t hold on so tightly to Rhys and everything that happened, and yet he does anyway. _

  1. **How has this character's personality changed from childhood to adulthood?**



_ Jay as a kid was pretty happy. He’d laugh and joke around, go out and hang out at the bar with his team even if he never was one for drinking. Even in childhood he was much more outgoing than he is now. After Rhys his entire personality just kind of… flipped. He’s closed himself off. _

  1. **Who influenced this character's personality? Did they pick up any mannerisms or traits from someone?**



_ He tries to be as he remembers his parents being: Kind, loyal, fair, and hardworking. He has a few British mannerisms, as his mother was British, and some American, from his father who was USMC. _

  1. **Does this character express affection? Are they comfortable doing so?**



_ Jay reserves physical affection to romantic, in most cases. Jay is very physically affectionate, once you get to that point with him. Touch grounds and calms him, makes him feel safe, so he’ll always seek it out if he’s feeling nervous, regardless of where he is. _

  1. **When frightened, will the character "fight" or "flight"?**



_ It depends on why he’s scared. I think he tends to kind of run away from his emotions, the fear of losing people. To a physical threat, however, Jay will fight. He’s not great at hand-to-hand, but he is very stubborn and very strong. He only needs to land a couple hits, it’s just a question of landing them. He is good at grappling though, try to pin him down and restrain him? Good luck with that, unless you’ve got three or four extra people who are heavier than him to help hold him down. _

  1. **Does this character ever put someone else's needs in front of their own?**
  2. **If there are only rare exceptions, why is that the case?**



_ Literally always. This is his entire job, his entire purpose for getting up in the morning. Jay will  _ always  _ put others before himself. Service above self. I can’t think of any time he’d make an exception to the rule. If you don’t mind me getting a little philosophical: His morals revolve around “Protect the meek and the frail. Mend the broken the wounded and the ill. Do not cast judgement upon those who may cast their own.” _

  1. **If this character suffered amnesia and lost all their memories, what would they be like?**



_ What would anyone with amnesia be like? Confused, afraid, curious. Almost an infant in an adult’s body. Now if he lost one memory in particular: any having to do with Rhys, he would be happier, he wouldn’t have depression, he might flirt with men he found attractive. Of course he’d never willingly give up his memories of Rhys. They did have a very loving relationship, Rhys’ death was just  _ that  _ traumatic for Jay. _

  1. **How does the character's living space reflect their personality?**



_ I would say it doesn’t really, considering he lives where he’s stationed. He stays in the barracks of whatever base he’s sent to, and generally he doesn’t have a lot in the way of ‘decoration’. He keeps his sketchbook in a drawer and his clothes folded and tucked away or on a hanger in the closet. But, then, he is a fairly tidy person who likes to keep things organized so…  _

  1. **What's one thing that other characters wish they could change about this character's personality?**



_ As far as I've noticed in rp on tumblr back when the rp community Jay was part of was active, his tendency to keep back from socializing and let life go on around him, instead of living it. _

 

* * *

**_EMOTIONAL PROFILE_ **

 

  1. **How easy is it for your character to feel anger? What's usually a good tip off that they're experiencing it? (Physical reactions, movements of appendages, etc.)**
  2. **Sadness?**
  3. **Happiness?**
  4. **Fear?**



_ Well Jay is pretty much perpetually sad and afraid, so not much to say there. He doesn’t like being angry, and he’s usually pretty calm, but there is one surefire way to get Jay angry: hurt someone who can’t defend themselves. His movements get stiffer, and he just… trust me you  _ know  _ when Jay is pissed. And when he is, it’s wise to stay the hell out of his way. _

  1. **What state of mind is the character usually in?**



_ Not a great one, to be honest. Generally he pours himself into his work and focuses on it and all that, almost forces his state of mind to be calm and collected and organized. But really at any given moment, his heart is aching, his mind is racing, and he just wants to lay down for a few hours and not move. _

  1. **Are there any emotions the character is particularly afraid of, or really resents having to feel?**



_ At the moment, he’s afraid to care, but he’s a caring person, he cares regardless of whether he wants to or not, and he doesn’t know how to pretend he doesn’t care. Sometimes he wishes he could just  _ stop _. _

  1. **How easily does this character trust their feelings with others?**
  2. **Has anyone ever betrayed them?**
  3. **How did it affect their ability to trust?**



_ Jay has been betrayed before by several people. His “friend” Cody when he was sixteen, a supposed ally when he was stationed in a scout camp, he even feels slightly betrayed by his former team leader, Jack. Jay is a live and let live person. When something awful happens he generally brushes it off fairly easily like, “Okay. That happened, it sucked but it happened. Whatever. I’m here now and I’m fine.” And he goes about life as normal, he’s still incredibly trusting and admittedly easy to manipulate.  _

  1. **Can this character easily hide their emotions?**
  2. **Do they find it difficult to express emotion, thus tend to look neutral?**



_ Jay has been described as wearing his heart on his sleeve, and Jay for the most part won’t hide important parts of himself, and he considers emotion part of that. He may try to hide the fact that he’s depressed so people don’t worry, but he’s not very good at it, so people figure it out and worry anyway. _

  1. **How well can this character resist their emotions and impulses?**



_ It depends on the emotion or impulse. Frustration and anger he works off in the gym with a punching bag or getting his ass kicked in sparring drills. Stress and intrusive thoughts he deals with by running. As for impulses, most of them are 'save this person even if it means you get hurt or die', and that he never refuses. _

  1. **Does this character ever get violent (with others, objects, themselves) when feeling any certain emotions?**



_ Rarely. And when he does he takes it out on a punching bag in the gym. This generally only happens when his nightmares get to be a bit too much to handle. _

**_Self-harm TW_ ** **8\. Has this character contemplated suicide?**

  1. **Self-harm?**
  2. **Physically injuring others?**
  3. **Killing others?**



_ Jay would  _ never  _ want to injure or kill anyone, but he is a soldier and he does have to defend himself, so that’s part of his job, so I’ll just leave it at, no he doesn’t  _ want  _ to. _

_ As for self-harm and contemplation of suicide. Admittedly, he did plan to kill himself, shortly after Rhys’ death, his former team leader, Jack, stopped him. They made a deal, if Jay made an effort to get up and be okay, Jack wouldn’t report it. Since then Jay has thought about it, but always dismisses it almost as quickly as he thinks of it. He has had self-harm urges, but has never acted on them. _

  1. **Does the character have any triggers? Why do these things trigger them?**



_ Jay has chronic depression, mild anxiety, and ptsd. And yet, among all of his problems, the only things that would break or trigger him are things like being discharged from the military, or the person he’s treating dying, whether he could’ve prevented it or not. After Rhys’ death, Jay feels like all he has left is his job, the military and his work as a medic. Jay cares about his team, as much as he’s afraid to, and losing anyone else, especially the way he lost Rhys, it would take a toll on him. _

  1. **What would hurt this character so badly they couldn't even breathe?**



_ I assume you mean besides physical injuries. Losing someone. Anyone really. It could be some random person who’s injured and he’s treating. If they die, Jay is going to break.  _

_ Anyone cementing Jay’s belief that Rhys’ death was his fault. Saying something like “Trying to protect them because you couldn’t protect the one you loved?” Taunting him about it, blaming him. It would feel like a hand around his heart, choking him.  _

  1. **What is guaranteed to make this character smile?**



_ Jay fakes most of his smiles. But it always puts a fond smile on his face to see a soldier reunited with their families, especially if it was someone he’d saved, knowing that he helped this reunion happen. _

  1. **If the character could remove one emotion from their life, which would they choose?**



_ This is a tough one and depends on the day, because even though his depression is chronic, it's still worse some days and better others.  On a bad day he might wish to be able to stop caring so much about people. On a good day, he might wish for the heartache to go away. _

  1. **If they're feeling upset, who are they likely to talk to for comfort? Or do they keep it inside?**



_ Jay generally tries to keep it in, he doesn’t want other people to worry about him, lest they report concerns to someone who can  _ make _ him talk and risk being labeled unfit for duty. But he  _ may  _ talk to a close trusted friend if they press.  _

  1. **How would this character cope with losing someone extremely close to them?**



_ Well he coped fairly well with the loss of his parents, but he didn’t cope well at all when Rhys died, in fact he didn’t cope at all. At loss Jay pours himself into his work. At this point he’s at great risk of overworking himself.  _

  1. **How does this character look and feel when crying?**



_ Jay is very quiet about crying, he doesn't want people to see him like that and worry. He doesn't want the 'are you okay' 'can I help?' 'what's wrong?' he doesn't want the questions he can't/won't answer. He quickly gets frustrated with himself for it, for no reason other than "I should be used to it by now" _

  1. **If the character had to live out the rest of their life either perpetually angry, sad, or frightened, which would they choose?**



_ Well at the moment he is already both perpetually sad and afraid so… he’d probably pick angry. He’s tired of being sad and afraid.  _

  1. **Does this character tend to blame or punish others for their own emotions?**



_ Not at all. If anything he blames himself.  _

  1. **Is this character empathetic, and tends to be influenced by the emotions of others?**



_ He tries not to really let other people’s emotions affect him to a major degree, but he is extremely empathetic.  _

  1. **What is the strongest emotion they have felt?**
  2. **What event caused that?**
  3. **How would they react if that happened again?**



_ Despair, heartache, and general depression. It was brought on by Rhys’ death. Considering Rhys can’t die again it won’t happen again, but if he lost a loved one, I feel like his heart wouldn’t be able to take it. It’s known as Broken Heart Syndrome. The tendons that keep the heart’s form, the heartstrings, break because of the tension and stress. The heart loses its shape and is unable to function properly. The victim dies from a literal broken heart.  _

  1. **If the character were to come face to face with their darkest fears in a nightmare, what would be the scene?**



_ And for this I will write a drabble  _ _ probably _ _. Jay fears, mostly, losing the people he cares about, and he’s a caring person, so he cares about his team whether he wants to or not. And losing them? Losing  _ anyone?  _ It would hurt, a lot. _

Everything is black… Just… black, everywhere, there’s nothing in every direction, just  _ void _ . It sticks to his feet, pulls him down, drags him back when he tries to move. It’s like scentless tar the way it holds him. But it’s alive. The void is  _ alive _ . It’s grabbing at him, whispering at him,  _ blaming him _ . He sees in his mind’s eye, his team,  _ his family,  _ lying, bodies broken and bleeding, dead, lifeless stares locking on to him, mouths moving, whispering from somewhere else in growing volume and mixing voices,  _ why why why why. You did this. You did this. Why. Why. Why. You let us die. It’s your fault. You killed us. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why……  _ Jay can't even scream, he can't breathe, the tar is dragging him down, he collapses in on himself, letting out a choked sob.  _ How did this happen What have I done. _ He becomes part of the void, shifting and changing, alive, but not living.

 

* * *

**_PHYSICAL PROFILE_ **

 

  1. **Based on the current diet and exercise your character has, where do you see them physically in five years?**



_ Pretty much the same as he is. Jay stays healthy and fit.  _

  1. **How agile is this character? Can they dodge easily? Or are they clumsy?**



_ Probably somewhere in the middle. He’s not great on his feet but he is good at grappling so he does have a decent amount of agility.  _

  1. **Describe the muscle content of your character. Are they untrained and soft? Or lithe and powerful?**



_ Given he’s military and a healthy person in general he’s fairly well built. He’s not overly muscular on a visual standpoint but he is very strong.  _

  1. **What kind of body fat percentage do you suppose they have?**



_ Idk what’s average/healthy? Google says 8-19% for someone fitting Jay’s description so I’d say about 13% give or take.  _

  1. **Do they have any scars? Where did those scars come from, and how did they get them?**



_ In an earlier response I mentioned someone from a scout camp betraying him. It’s not technically a betrayal, because the guy was a spy. So this guy takes him and locks him up in a sort of prison complex. Jay was fresh out of basic, so he was tortured for information he didn’t have. He has a variety of scars from the ordeal. Most notably a large L shaped one from his shoulder blade to mid-lower back and all the way across, and burn scars on his calves from hot coals. _

  1. **Describe some hairstyles your character has had in the past.**
  2. **How about the present? What's their hair like now?**



_ Jay doesn’t really are about his hair, he just lets it be for the most part as long as he stays within regulation for the military.  _

  1. **What are their teeth like? Any cavities? Root canals? Does their dentition ever hurt?**



_ Overall pretty good I think. I don’t really have much to say here I don’t ~do~ teeth. _

  1. **Do their arches ever fall? That's painful.**



_ Not a huge idea what this means so I’m just gonna say Jay is fairly flat footed and leave it at that.  _

  1. **How much endurance do they have? Do they easily get tired during a workout?**



_ Jay does a lot of endurance training, he’s strong with the endurance to back it up.  _

  1. **How easily can they bear pain?**



_ Jay has a pretty high pain tolerance. He’s been known to either not notice or ignore a cut or bruise.  _

  1. **How long can this character sit still?**
  2. **Do they shift a lot when sleeping?**



_ He focuses a lot on his job and in doing so he doesn’t really need to move a whole lot but he does have a tendency to tap when idle.  _

  1. **What do their nails look like? Do they bite them?**



_ He keeps them clean and trimmed. Jay’s never had a habit of biting his nails.  _

  1. **How hairy is this character?**
  2. **Arms?**
  3. **Legs?**
  4. **Underarms?**
  5. **Eyebrows?**
  6. **Everywhere else**



_ I don't really think about the hair tbh, but my first thought is that he keeps everything pretty neat and trimmed _

  1. **What is the most imperfect part of this character's body?**



_ He’s short I guess. He’s got scars if you count those.  _

  1. **Do they get cold easily?**
  2. **How about overheated?**
  3. **Seasick?**
  4. **Do barometric changes in pressure affect them?**



_ Jay isn’t very affected by weather and he takes appropriate precautions to avoid overheating or getting too cold.  _

  1. **How do they react to getting an illness? Think about sore throats, achy bodies, headaches, stuffy noses, runny noses...**



_ Jay has a strong immune system and does not get sick easily, and when he does it’s generally of the violent variety and hits him  _ very  _ hard. He usually tries to sleep through it.  _

  1. **Is this character's body sensitive to touch?**
  2. **Do they have any unusual erogenous zones?**



_ Well. Touch is the best way to get through to an anxious or sad Jay. It grounds him better than anything else. As for unusual erogenous zones, really just the usual stuff: neck, behind the ear, teeth in his shoulder, that kind of thing _

  1. **How strong are this character's basic senses? Sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell.**



_ I’d say it’s all about average. He does have an excellent spacial and situational awareness, but I don’t attribute that to any senses being better or worse than average. _

  1. **If this character had to permanently lose one of their senses, which would they choose?**
  2. **What if they could only have one sense, and had to lose the others?**



_ I’m gonna say taste, he doesn’t really  _ care  _ about food that much, and he needs all his others. The second one is a bit harder, but first thought is sight, so I’m gonna go with that. _

  1. **Does this character have any unusual limbs or physical features?**



_ Aside from the odd L shaped scar, no not that I can think of. _

 

* * *

**_PREFERENCES AND PEEVES_ **

 

  1. **What's the state of your character's kitchen? What kind of foods do you find in it? Is it... clean?**



_ Jay doesn’t care much about food, so it’s fairly sparse, with the necessities, fruits to grab and go. Oh also he technically doesn’t  _ have  _ a kitchen, this answer is theoretical, he lives in the dorms on base, so no kitchen. If he had one it would stay clean, Jay is very orderly and likes to keep things clean. _

  1. **If they could only eat one type of food for the rest of their life, what would they choose?**



_ He doesn’t want to play this game, I’m not getting anything from him for this. Because, again, he doesn’t care about food. So as long as it’s got all the nutrients n shit he needs he’s good with whatever. _

  1. **What kind of clothing does this character like wearing and why?**



_ Jay likes his scrubs. They’re light and comfortable. As they were made to be. He’s a simple man with simple tastes. _

  1. **How does this character feel about piercings?**
  2. **Tattoos?**
  3. **Dyed hair?**
  4. **Revealing clothing?**



_   For the most part Jay doesn't care what other people do with their bodies. He can respect the meanings behind tattoos or dyed hairs or clothing choices or piercings. Although those nose piercings bother him, belly button ones too. He, personally, probably wouldn't ever get a piercing or dye his hair an unnatural color or wear something revealing unless under certain circumstances which I'm sure you can guess. He might get a tattoo at some point, but mostly he's content to leave his body the way it is _

  1. **What's something that turns this character on?**
  2. **And what's a definite turn-off?**
  3. **Do they have any kinks?**



_ Jay is a lot kinkier than I ever thought he’d be and I’m gonna leave this at that. A turn-off however, is in anyway hurting or causing pain to his partner. _

  1. **How does this character feel about animals?**
  2. **Would they want any pets?**
  3. **What animals are their favorite?**



_ Jay doesn’t mind most animals. He harbors a bit of a resentment to cats (but I say he’s just jealous cause he’s allergic and they’re cute). He doesn’t have the time to take care of a pet so he wouldn’t want one, as it wouldn’t be fair to the animal. He prefers dogs and birds I believe. He thinks birds’ feathers are gorgeous.  _

  1. **What type of movie is this character most interested in watching?**



_ He won’t admit it but he likes dumb cheesy romances and comedies. He’s also good for a good action movie or sci-fi. Though he’s never seen Star Trek _

  1. **If this character could master a skill instantly, which would they choose?**



_ Medicine, surgery, triage, y'know, his "job" skills. One might consider him a master of his "craft", but he knows there is much left for him to learn, and if he could learn/master it all in an instant he would _

  1. **Are there any behaviors that other characters do that irk this character?**
  2. **Does the character ever voice their annoyance?**



_ He tolerates most things. He has a lot a patience, like I said. It really only wears thin for being fed bullshit. _

  1. **Would this character rather create something or destroy something?**



_ Create _

  1. **What kind of comedy does this character prefer? Toilet humor, vulgar, slapstick, morbid, etc.**



_ I’m not really sure I’m not good at humor so I don’t really know what the intricacies are xD Ummm he likes puns I guess?  _

  1. **If they could stay at one age forever, which age would they choose and why?**



_ Probably about thirty? He’d want to stay at an age where he’s not in danger of having to retire from the military and to be honest that is literally all I’m getting out of him for this.  _

  1. **If the character could only wear clothing of one color, which would they choose?**



_ Blue, any shade.  _

  1. **Describe the character's favorite possession. Where did they get it, and why are they so attached?**



_ A worn beat up old leather bound sketchbook. His ex, Rhys, had given it to him as a way to occupy his hands. The first page holds a drawing of a rose. It was Rhys’ favorite drawing of his. _

_ The sketchbook goes everywhere with him. On missions it stays tucked away in his pack. He almost considers it his lucky charm. That’s the best way he can think to describe it, anyway. _

 

_ ~What if he found someone going through it? _

_   
_ _ He doesn’t like being angry, but he doesn’t want people looking through it without permission, he’s more scared of them seeing the monsters from his nightmares he draws them to try to give himself something physical to confront and saying something about it to him or anyone else _

 

  1. **What is the character's favorite weather?**



_ Clear sky. He likes to watch the stars.  _

  1. **Do they prefer sweet, salty, sour, meaty, spicy, or neutral tastes?**



_ He doesn’t have a preference on tastes.  _

  1. **Would they rather sleep in a cold room or a warm one?**



_ Somewhere in between I think.  _

  1. **Are there any hobbies this character absolutely hates and would never want to do?**



_ Not that I can think of, there’s probably  _ something  _ out there, but I can’t think of anything at the moment.  _

  1. **What's the easiest way to annoy this character?**



_ Jay has a lot of patience, but his tolerance for being fed bullshit is limited. He will ask twice for a not bullshit answer before giving the Medic Glare. _

  1. **Are their interests and likes socially appropriate?**



_ I’m not sure what’s considered “socially appropriate”. His interests are generally aligned with ‘how can what I’m doing help someone’. He’s a bit of a workaholic. _

 

* * *

 

_**ALL ABOUT HISTORY** _

 

  1. **Describe a scenario that has impacted your character and caused them extreme happiness.**
  2. **Fear?**
  3. **Disappointment?**
  4. **Depression?**



_ Well if you don’t know the answer to the depression part you clearly haven’t been paying attention. As for happiness, he was actually fairly nervous about his grades in medical school, so I’m gonna say graduating near the top of his class. Fear, probably on his first deployment when he was captured by an enemy spy. I can’t think of a time he was incredibly disappointed though.  _

  1. **What is the character's first memory?**



_ He’s trying to think of it and pulling up blank so instead I’ll just say that he played baseball in school. He was the pitcher.  _

  1. **Has the character ever experienced deja vu? Do you happen to know why?**



_ Yes. And no, it’s generally just random instances like ‘I’ve been here on the same kind of day before…’ kind of things.  _

  1. **Sensations are powerful things, and often certain scents, sounds, touches, etc. can invoke memories strongly associated with them. Which have imprinted in your character's mind?**



_ Memories associated with sensations…. hmmmm… The smell of chocolate chip cookies reminds him of baking them with his mom when he was little. That’s all I can think of at the moment.  _

  1. **How'd they get along with their parents and/or other relatives?**



_ Jay got along great with his parents. They were kind and supportive of him. He had no aunts or uncles and therefore no cousins, and his grandparents all died when he was too young to really have a relationship with them.  _

  1. **If your character had to choose one friend they've valued over all others, who would it be?**



_ Jay doesn’t want to play this game. That and the fact that his friends change depending on the ‘verse so this is kind of impossible to answer.  _

  1. **What's the worst injury they've ever gotten?**



_ He once pushed a random soldier out of the way of a bullet and took it through his right lung. The same way Rhys died. Jay lived, obviously, but was in the hospital for a good month and restricted duty for another month. He still has trouble breathing sometimes, but it’s nothing that affects him majorly anymore.  _

  1. **How many places has this character lived in? What stands out most about those places to them?**



_ Many many many places. Both of his parents were military so he lived his life on the move with them and their deployments. The different cultures are always what stands out most to him.  _

  1. **If the character could erase one memory from their mind, what would it be?**



_ Cody, his childhood friend, attacking him for coming out as gay.  _

  1. **What was the character's economic situation?**



_ Middle class I guess? _

  1. **What are the character's three clearest memories?**



_ The moment he was told his parents were dead after the graduation ceremony from basic training.  _

_ I’d say being rescued by Rhys but he was only half conscious for that so waking up in the hospital with this handsome stranger by his side.  _

_ Rhys’ death.  _

  1. **If the character could go back and speak to a younger version of themself, what would they say?**



_ “Cody is not a good person. Tell your parents you love them every day. Don’t isolate yourself when you’re in pain.” _

  1. **If the character could go back and choose their sex at birth, what would they choose?**



_ He’d probably stay a male I guess.  _

  1. **Describe the character's love life throughout the years.**



_ Through school it was pretty much nonexistent, but he had a boyfriend in medical school who was studying physical therapy, they were roommates, and parted on good terms. Years later… Rhys.  _

  1. **How did the family that raised this character influence them?**



_ Jay always wanted to be like his parents, his father who was committed to protecting those he loved, and his mother who saved lives and healed people.  _

  1. **If this character could "unmeet" someone in their life, who would they choose?**



_ Cody _

  1. **If the character could choose different parents for themselves, who would they choose and why?**



_ He wouldn’t, he loved his parents.  _

  1. **Does this character feel guilty about anything in the past?**



_ He feels responsible for Rhys’ death.  _

  1. **If the character were asked to associate an adjective with different stages of their life, what would they choose and why?**



_ Childhood-teen years - Happiness - he had a good childhood aside from a few bumps, he’d describe his growing up years as happy  _

_ Young adult(the time of first deployment) - Fear - understandably, he was captured and held prisoner for a good month and after his rescue he suffered symptoms of ptsd and was scared a lot _

_ After that - Love - he fell in love with his rescuer: Rhys _

_ Present - Pain - do I really need to explain? _

  1. **If the character could choose to have themselves born at a specific time period, which would they pick and why?**



_ I’m not sure he’d change anything. He likes what he does and he doesn’t want to go back in time because of the medical advancements and treatments, so many people he’d be treating would die without modern medical help. Maybe he’d choose a future time where people are more accepting of each other.  _


End file.
